broken pants!?
i hate school. it seems that whenever i walk through those badly decorated dirty glass doors my life becomes chaos. and no im not exaggerating. once again i have a pants crisis. im not going to sugarcoat it. im overweight and if you know me, you know that. on april 22nd, only a few days after my 18th birthday, i have my very first meeting at the bariatric center to talk to some doctors about gastric bypass surgery. anywhoo, because im so overweight [the tech term is obese] im forced to order my pants through a catalog. sure i can wear sweatpants like every other fat person in america. but i like style and i like my jeans, so im not going to humilate myself anymore by wearing those sweats. in the beginning of the year i had two pairs of jeans. then it went down to one because on one pair the zipper busted. then i ordered three pair. one was to small. the other two were tight but wearable. now im raised my by mom and my dad only helps out by giving us 40 dollars a week. cheap i know. and we obviously have rent and other bills that need to be paid. and its difficult with only one income so i know that i cant order pants every week. but when im only down to one pair of pants because the button popped off and the zipper broke on one, i think its time to order some new ones right?? apparently my mom didnt think so. well now shes forced to. getting into the car this morning my button popped off. not to mention i was already late for school. my life is shit sometimes. just like everyones.dont get me wrong either, i love myself. and people love me. im funny, smart, pretty, and a bunch of other things. but i do wish i was skinner. i dont even want to say skinny though. i want to be healthy and the way im living now is far from healthy. but i have a disease and i know that. hopefully i can get approved for this surgery, and i know its not the answer. i know ill have to work hard but having the surgery would help out alot. wow this is like the first time i ever talked about this. very relieving.
so im supposed to be at lunch right now but i never go. i dont hang out with anybody in my lunch. and im not going to sit at a table alone and give the losers who dont have anything else to do but pick on me something to talk about. but you know, my school is cool about that. which is weird. you would think being an innercity school the kids would be asswholes and make fun of anything they dont like. true the kids are asswholes but there have only been a select few times ive been teased here. i was teased more at a catholic school then at a public one. weird.
well lunch is over and i have to get back to health, and Rossi has to get back to teaching his batch of deliquents. did i spell that right?
straightedge.