life's been topsy-turvy without you around
i havent blogged in a longlonglong time. it feels good to be able to blog again. if only for a few minutes.im at Courtneys house and we had a little HBonTRL party.
yupp thats right. Honor Bright was on TRL today at 3. i am so proud of those boys. so much is happening for them and its good. i hope they dont change though. it would suck if they did.
so alot has happened while ive been away. i stopped talking to Melinda and them for good this time. i hung out with Dollface. stopped talking to him. went to the movies a few times. didnt go to school. its been very hectic and boring.
lets start from the beginning..
basically if you read my blog you know i cant really stand Melinda and her family but i tollerated them because of my mom. well we stopped talking a few weeks ago. it was all very childish really. she reduced to calling me names and being very rude i must say. my mom got pissed because i posted a bulletined about them. to me it was sort of histaricall. i really can not stand that family. my mom can, how she does it i will never know.
what i hate though is my moms trying to get me to be with them. like when she went to Old Forge with them, she wanted me to go but i didnt want to be anywhere around them. so i got a peircing instead.
the other side of my lip! my snakebites are complete!!
anyways, now she wants to know if i want to go with her to the races.. um no thanks mom.
so on sunday the 19th i went to movies with Dollface who ican now publicaly use his name.. its Tom. we went to the movies and saw Wanted. it was actally really fun. hes cute and funny and nice. he held my hand. and laughed at me when i got scared. not cool. but then again, like everything in my life it because drama and fucked up. i found out he was texting Erin [ex and my friend, the one who i met him through]. and needless to say i wasnt happy. i mean he can text whoever he wants. its not like we were dating but he was talking to me and trying to talk to her again. not cool dude. especially if your trying to do that with Erin because she tells everyone everything. needless to say, we argued and not we dont talk. kinda bummed i have to admit.. i liked him and thought it would work out. but im glad i dont have to deal with the whole secretive-ness anymore.
Court and i went and saw The Dark Knight. im kind of obsessed with Batman now. i want a Batman tattoo!!! the movie is amazing. i want to see it again!!
about school.. i think im going to get my GED. school's just really tough for me this year, and i havent been going to summer school like i should. so if i can go next year. id have 3 gyms, 2 sciences, 2 social studies, and 2 englishs. not cool. im going to look into it.. talk to my guiedence counceler. think a little bit.
my whole thing is, i dont want to drop out and regret it down the road. and i dont want o disappoint my mom and courtney. their the only two people that mean the most to me and it sucks to disappoint them.
but i have to do whats right for me....
i went down to CNY Works the other day. the guy down there knows my mom so hes going to try and help me out.. maybe with a clerical job. but i just found out that Byrne Dairy is going to be firing this chick, and we know the girls down there really well. so if i fill out the application and give it to the one girl, she'll give it to her sister whos the manager and ill have a job. hopefuly. yay!!
okay everybodys here now and its time to mingle. i love that word. hopefuly my internet will be on soon so i can blog daily!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008 * 8:36 AM
Autobiography
I am Hannah Homicide.I am your worse nightmare and your happiest dream.
I am the person you strive to imitate.
I am the person you love to hate and hate to love.
I am not your average girl.
I am cynical, repetitive, and over dramatic.
I am artistic, optimistic, and eccentric.
I am a Scene Queen.
I am in the now yet years behind.
I am pink, orange, green, and purple.
I am the rainbow.
I am black and white.
I am smiles to cameras, sneers to mirrors.
I am your every wish and desire.
I am surrounded by people.
I am a lonely girl.
I am Hannah Homicide.
I am your worst nightmare and your happiest dream.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008 * 2:26 PM
she moves through moonbeams slowly
I'm on sarahs sidekick right now, again I want this phone.A lot os shit has happened. Starting with sunday. Dollface and I were supposed to go to the movies but we got the malls mixed up. We were both reaally sad slash really pissed off. Oh well. There's a really good chance he's coming over friday. I sure hope so because I want to see him. I've been talking to him all day and he was downtown for some buisness that he had to take care of. I think he robbed a bank! Haha..
Courtney came over and cheered me up. We got ice cream and made tacos! It ended up to be a pretty sweet day! Thanks courtney!
I missed scummer on monday because I overslept. So me and courtney hung out all day. And because were incredibly lame we made up scene names for each other and steven.
Courtney is now Courtnii Confetti.
Steven is now Shamus Suicide.
And I am now Hannah Havek.
I am in love with the name hannah and I want to legally change my name to Hannah Jayne..
Whatcha think?
So I heard about school all day long from everyone. At the end of the day melinda started in on me. I guess I gave her an attitude, whatever. I'm sick of the shit I get from that family.
So I get home and I post a bulletin about how Im sick of the childish antics. And good old melinda messaged me because she's so mature and grown. Haha.
But the clincher is she told her mom, and debbie called my mom. My mom called me and bitched of course. It was all very funny stuff.
I love how they're so perfect in my moms eyes. But me, but me I'm the worst daughter in history. Its annoying but I gues I have to deal with it..
Sarah came over today at around 1. I miss her. She scared the shit out of me though which made me punch myself in the eye. It hurt. Really bad. Were actually cleaning my room now. She demanded that I clean it with her help because she knows that if it doesn't get done it won't period.
Courtney has started on The Doppler Effect Street Team layout. I can't wait to see it!! Speaking of TDE, their having a bbq in New Hartford, NY. We wanna go so bad! I asked them to have it on a sunday, hopefully they will.
Ryan randomly text me about an hour and a half ago telling me that Honor Bright is playing Warped Tour. I'm so happy for them. They'll get uber recognition. Those boys will make it big. I can feel it.
After sarah leaves I have somework to catch up on. I can't fuck this up, I just can't. If I don't pass I will drop out and get my GED. I won't lower myself by being behind my friends. Sorry, won't do it.
Shows are coming up, I'm so excited. I need a good show to get all of my fucked up feelings out of my head. I'm stoked for the show next monday. Devil Wears Prada, Peirce The Vail, and Alsana.. Itll be a killer.
Alright luvvies I have go.. Unfortunatly I have to finish my room for when dollface comes over friday.
Saturday, July 12, 2008 * 9:00 PM
kuss mich
today my plans with Dollface got ruined. he had no way over here.i was sad.
but then we were texting later, around 5:30. and we decided we'd go to the movies tomorrow. my moms going to pick him up tomorrow and everything. i cant wait. i think were going to go see Zohan. its gotta be after Jasons Suprise Party but before its to late for Court to come over to make tacosch!
today kinda was bad all around. first the thing with Dollface. then i got into a little tiff with Melinda and them. now Jud is being is normal self.
tomorrow will be better though.
i want to talk about more, but Jud is bitching.
like always.
you know i dont fucking get how i have to get off at 11 but the other kids can stay on untill there heart fucking desires. somethings wrong with this picture.
Friday, July 11, 2008 * 6:28 PM
oh.em.gee. mcdonalds sweet tea!
I blogged earlier and I don't feel like adding to it so here's a new one for ya.Sarah came over to hang out and its been so fun. I've missed hanging out with her, were deffinitly going to do it more. Looking back on the memories is fun sometimes. When she first got there we hung out in the house for a bit then we went to mcdonalds to get a sweet tea.I've never had one and wow have I been missing out! They are so fucking delish!! She ran a red light on the way home. Bad driver..
When we got home we went over to the shop to say hi to my mom. We wound up staying over there. Josh and Austin showed up. That was extremely funy. I saw my first high person, we'll people today!
Very exciting stuff for a straightedge person! Haha.
After hanging out a bit more she left only to return a half hour later. Which meant that Josh and Austin returned wanting her to take them for a ride. Yeah okay guys, were not stupid.
So while she's been gone I've been blogging on her sidekick. I want one. Badly..
Courtney is spending the night on sunday. Were making tacosch for The Doppler Effect. It'll be amazing. And it'll be delish!
Sarah is spending the night on monday most likely. It'll be fun. I can't wait.
I'm not sure if dollface is coming over tomorrow. The ride situation is fucked up. I want to see him.
Oh and Reggie gave me a kiss on the cheeck.
What a gentlemen!
* 8:48 AM
attention attention may i have all your eyes and ears
to the front of the roomif only
if only for one second
i slept like a baby last night. i was almost late to school. almost.
ive listened to The Movielife, Alesana, and Panic At The Disco all morning.
they make my day brighter.
not sure what im doing today. hopefully Sarah can take me to see Dollface later. i highly doubt its going to happen though.
i started on TDE's Street Team. all the stuff i did will most likely be deleted because were most likely going to have a div. but whatever.
i was bored and had nothing else to do.
yesterday was an amazing day of amazing conversations.
i love conversations with band members, especially these guys because their convos are hilarious..
Hussain, Mike, and Ryan!
i told Hussain that i want to pierce his lip and nose. i think hes going to wait for me! haha.
i told Mike about how awesome The Doppler Effect is and he said "the band sucks but the guys are hot so if theres hot guys, im in!" haha hes in TDE! what a weirdo!
Ryan told me this funny little tale about how two girls in a yellow jeep followed him because of the HB sticker on the back of his car. they mentioned my tattoo.
it was all very funny stuff.
today in english i became really fucking pissed. this whore Rebecca said she hates her brother because hes gay. and im like "wow your really supportive. i wonder if he supports your whore tendencies?"
needless to say she shut her mouth. good thing too.
there might me more added later. not sure.
what i am sure of is that i need to go home and clean my room for tomorrow.
Thursday, July 10, 2008 * 8:19 AM
im obsessed with isle 5
holy crow!i was scared for my life last night.. no really i was!
it was really creepy actually. i was on the my phone with Courtney and my moms phone will Dollface when all of a sudden i heard this bang, like something fell. it sounded like it came from upstairs but it also sounded like it came from out back. needless to say my heart stopped for a few short beats.
then about 10 minutes later there was a knock on my front door. i woke my mom up and when she was walking to the front door there was a louder knock on my back door.
boy was i freaked out! like woah!
we went upstairs but my mom wanted to go back downstairs so in case it happened again. i didnt want to be down there.
it did happen again.
i heard the dogs bark.
i grabbed my pepper spray.
my mom called the cops.
cops came, found nobody.
the knocks stopped.
weird.
Courtney, Dollface, and i had an awesome conversation. there was talk of handcuffs, sex dolls, and jesus/ghandi/buddah. it really was one of the funniest conversations i have ever had.
after hanging up with Court, i called Dollface back and we talked until 7:30 this morning. we talked about things from his work to football to what i love to do/what he loves to do to why we like each other. we even talked about his ex and why they broke up. it was all very entertaining. i didnt want to stop talking. i planned on hanging up earlier then we actually did but he refused to. hes very stubborn. i wanted him to go to bed so he could get some rest before work and he didnt want to hang up with me because he was worried id fall asleep and not get up for school.
AWWWWW!
how sweet!
i miss him already, and i shouldnt. well i should but im falling to hard for him to quick. hes just different then every other guy ive met. and i can tell already. him and his ex took things really fast, so he wants to take things slow with us which is cool.
i dont want to rush this.
i dont want this to be a mistake.
i want this to be something that lasts.
i want this to be something that i can look back on when im withering away.
i want this to be love<3
i looked cute today. and i know it.
Day Of Silence shirt, cutoff jean bermuda shorts, white and red flats.
nerd glasses and blue hair.
haha!
i got my phone fixed today. the voicemail was all fucked up. i can finally hear my voicemails.
im like 5 pages away from finishing The Host by Stephenie Meyer. its one of the most amazing books ive ever read. i was bawling my eyes out in english today.
swimming and reading later.. what are you doing??
i miss the comments. you should do it sometime.
Let's draw hearts that carve into the sand
I'll smile as I hold your hand
Let's listen to the waves crash
As our hearts collide
Wednesday, July 9, 2008 * 8:17 AM
hes my dollface and im his hunny
so much has happened since blogging last.fights with gay guys.
meeting dollface<3.
summer school.
its been a world wind adventure and every second of it i wanted to blog.
summer school started tuesday. monday night i went and got my supplies. first block i have english 11. the teacher seems pretty cool, so i think im going to do fairly well. the first day we had to write an essay on 3 things we would want gone forever. i chose money, the lack of self-confidence, and those stupid about me papers we have to fill out on the first day of school! it was a pretty sweet essay. i just typed the final draft of it after all the corrections were made. i have US history second block. im in love with the teacher. shes amazing and teaches in a way that makes you want to learn. im a firm believer that you have to have a good teacher or you wont learn anything. ill pass that class, fer shure!
so there's this gay guy [okay he's bi but more gay then straight] named Johnny. he was dating my friend Erin for like 2 days. fell in love with her. thats just creepy. and cried for days when she broke up with him. the story is long and i dont have time to tell it, but basically he lied a bunch of times and he was frightened for his life. it really was the funniest thing ive ever seen. i do feel bad for him though. in a way. Erin was positively scary about the whole thing. i dont ever want to see her like that again. you dont want to see her like that either, trust me.
her and her sister Chrissy wound up staying the night so Johnny wouldnt come back to my house and it was so much fun. even though Chrissy laughed when i banged my head! haha.
so i met this guy. im not saying his name on here. kind of cant because its a secret that were talking. only 3 people know the situation and thats how its going to stay. but i will say that hes amazing and i really hope we work out. the scary thing is, im falling way to fast. Courtney says im plummeting. and at a dangerous speed! haha. but i cant help it. hes sweet and funny and cute. and he seems to like me for me. were hanging out friday and saturday for the first time.
wish me luck!
nothing else really going on. Courts starting on the layouts for the street teams. i found this amazing designer guy that im talking to. we really want About The Music Designs to work out! i just found out about a bunch of awesome shows this summer, im hoping i can get to all of them. its going to be pretty expensive though.
ugh gotta go!
i could blog all day!
Saturday, July 5, 2008 * 11:14 PM
friendship bread
is delish!it takes 10 days to make, but oh so worth it!
i must make this blog really quick..
i wish i had internet so i could watch The Doppler Effects stickam longer then 2 minutes.
their hawt.
tomorrow theres a cookout and Love Guru with Courtney.
monday theres shopping for school supplies..
tuesday theres school.
my life couldnt be any worse/amazing!
Friday, July 4, 2008 * 6:07 PM
"can i light this and set it in the middle of the intersection"
first of all i hate the 4th of July.its one of those rediculess holidays that shouldnt be a holiday.
i hate the week leading up to it more than the actual day.
what is the sense of setting off fireworks before the actual day, better yet what is the sense of setting them of during the day?!?!
ugh, retarded people should die.
last night was horrible. mom and i got into yet another fight. whatever, im sick of this shit. i was glad Courtney called me back so i could vent. we wound up having an amazing conversation.
Thortin a gay lumberjack made an appearance.
as well as Sasha, LaTisha, and Luke the Tranny.
it was pretty steller.
this morning i woke up to 5 missed calls from some random number thats stalking me. its really getting on my nerves. but im going to try and ignore it.
so i have 4 projects that i need to start working on. one i cant mention, its a surprise. but i can talk about the other ones..
as you know Court and i are doing the street team for Go All Out. and if i havent said it enough, its this amazing band of 17 y/o seniors. their music makes you want to dance and get freaky! haha, their a very sexual bunch. but were also going to start The Doppler Effects street team. im very excited for this because TDE is a band of amazing guys and amazing talent. and im nothing but honored that they want me to do it for them!
Court and i are also starting out own buisness. were in the research process of it now. but basically what it is, is we design merch for bands. you know shirts, stickers, buttons, ect. ive been told countless times that i have a great imagination. and Courtney is amazing at photoshop. so why not put the two together. we've come up with a name already.
ATM Designs
stands for About The Music. whatcha think?? im wicked pumped for it. Court found this 19 y/o that does the same thing and hes amazing at it. he's already worked with some amazig bands. and i hope he can talk to me and teach me a little of the buisness.
well i have to go feed the dogs. then im going to do a little research.
love ya kiddies<333
PS-thanks to courtney for her amazing skills! this layout is amazing!
Thursday, July 3, 2008 * 7:04 PM
i could call you baby doll
bored-um has consumed my day.literally.
ive gotten alot of reading done though. almost halfway through The Host. its pretty flippen fabulous!
sunday Court is supposed to come over for a little cook out. then were going to the movies. i think we might see Love Guru. it looks amazing.
summer school starts tuesday. im kind of looking forward to it. it'll at least give me something to do during the day. but im not looking forward to the early morning thing. ill be taking english 11 and us history. fun right!
okay this blog is basically short and boring. i need to fix my layout because my calender isnt showing! ugh!
and i only have a half hour to do it!
maybe because Debbies here i can stay on longer... hmm!
oh i now offically have a bird. haha. we were bird-sitting her for awhile but i guess shes ours to keep now. haha.
she wont stop landing on my head though..
straightedge.