in reply
yes, ive been aggravated lately.and no its not only towards you, its to everyone.
but i agree with you. it doesnt seem like were friends anymore.
we never see each other. didnt i tell you this would happen?
and no, i dont have you stay after just to use your phone.
didnt i want you to stay after before my phone got shut off?
you staying after is a way that we can hang out because we never do.
and about the show situation.
when was the last time your mom took us to a show?
august 1st.
when was the last time my mom took us to a show?
dcember 6th.
when was the last time your mom picked us up from a show?
never.
when was the last time my mom picked us up from a show?
december 6th.
thats a 4 month difference.
and yeah i hate that you have a mom that doesnt chip in as well.
its quite rediculous, dont you think?
and no im not stoked. i dont like going to shows alone.
i call people to see if they want to go because going alone is just awkward.
and i love going to shows with you.
but didnt you just say that shows didnt give you the same feeling?
and why exactly wont we be seeing each other, ever?
i still want you as a friend courtney, theres no doubt about it.
your one of the greatest people i know.
its just.. i dont know.
im sick of not seeing my best friend.
and im sick of the whole ride thing.
you dont understand how i have to hear it from my mom all the time.
im sick of wondering if your having a fun time or not?
im sick of trying to help you change because you want to and you not helping yourself.
im sick of alot.
and not all of it as to do with you/our friendship.
so i just found out brian magee won!
i am sososo happy for him!
hes going to become a star!
so tomorrow my mom, melinda, ally, myself, and possibly francesca are going to the mall. i have to get ches's christmas/birthday present. and i guess my mom and melinda are getting me something.
they've come up with this plan for francesca to come with us so we can split up so i cant see my present. weird people man.
melinda and i have talked these past few days. we talked about the things we said to each other and how mature ive gotten. and then tonight we talked about how she likes to be around me now.
and i can totally understand what shes means. i used to be so selfish and self-centered.
i once told them that i didnt care if we were homeless [my mom hadnt payed the rent yet] as long as i got my monroe peirced.
wow. i know.
and now i care more about others and im not as selfish. yes i still want things. but if my mom says no i dont get mad and act like a child the way i used to.
im happy with the person im becoming.
im going to switch gears a little bit.
tuesday after school im going to take my permit! im excited. ive been studying.
and ive been doing really good.
again switching gears..
ive been thinking about jason lately. i have no idea why either. yesterday i read a survey that he did almost 2 years ago that i had saved. every answer that was on there i could hear him saying it. its weird. like how he used to say sleeping. he would really emphasize the e's. i loved it.
i thought that after 2 years of not talking to him that i would forget him but obviously i havent and it sucks because he probably isnt real.
you would have to know the situation. im not getting into it.
so i have to go. melinda wants to get on.
i meant what i said court. i still want to be friends.
ill never want to stop. your a great person...
straightedge.